Strings Attached
by somethingfurry
Summary: Fundraising night again. They end up alone on the roof. Look for sweet sappiness elsewhere, this is sweaty smut spiced up with some angst. Major HCam. Rated M.
1. Rooftop ramblings

**Thanks to: **bones4life for awesome beta work! You´re extremely sweet and supportive!

* * *

Fundraising night again. She´s dressed all in black this time. Bare shoulders, short skirt, silk strings drawing an intricate pattern on her back. It´s elegant but not sexy, and really, it´s almost as if she´s given up.

To her surprise, he´s seated with people of importance. She thinks that Cuddy must have something dirty on him if she trusts him to behave around that much money. Even more surprising, he asks her over to his table, introduces her and asks her to give an account of their latest case, which she calmly and clearly does. He seems proud of her.

Much later, having danced with a number of surely nice men she doesn´t give a shit about, she finds herself feeling weirdly detached and light-headed from all the lights and voices. She leaves for the roof to try to compose herself.

He´s beaten her to it. He stands there, resting his elbows on the railing, overlooking the rooftops. He´s anything but lights and voices.

"Hey," she says, not wanting to startle him.

"Abandoning the dance floor?" he asks without looking at her, his thumb brushing across his lower lip distractedly.

"Yeah, I suppose." She shrugs her shoulders and slides up next to him, trying to mimic his stance and near aloofness as she gazes upon a piece of the city. "I needed some fresh air."

"Riiight," he looks at her and smirks. "That´s a mighty fancy dress you´ve got going on there. Basically some strings pulled together with…strings. _Very_ subtle. Did the boys not pay you enough attention down there?" He pouts his lip at her mockingly.

Her weird 'I-don't-care' kind of feeling is still lingering there and she´s a bit dizzy from consuming one too many martinis. It´s nice, she feels all bold and at ease with the situation, which is such a treat to her, and she's not willing to let it go now. No matter what.

"Well," she states matter-of-factly, "we both know I´m needy. The only problem is that my needs are so damn specific."

She´s leaning her back against the railing now, standing so close to him that his sleeve brushes lightly against her bare arm when he turns around, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"I´m intrigued. Keep the info coming!"

She looks up at him, wide-eyed, meeting his gaze without hesitation.

"I´m bored," she states. "I´ve been without sex for far too long and I need a man of considerable…" she pauses, smiling at his light smirk before dashing his premature thoughts, "intelligence to satisfy me. The boys I danced with just won´t do. They´re not smart enough to get a platypus interested, much less me."

For a moment she sees shock and surprise flash through his eyes but then he regains control and calmly replies: "Well, well, I do believe daddy´s little princess is tipsy. You should have stayed away from the big girl drinks."

She quickly inhales as if to respond, but then looks down, defeated and he suddenly feels a bit bad about harassing her.

"Look, go home and get some sleep, call a cab."

He reaches down his pocket for his cell phone, but having gone this far, there's no stopping her now. She's always stopped too soon, full of indecision and fear, but not tonight. She turns and faces him, finding herself so close she can feel his breath when he exhales.

"You would do," she simply states, her heart flickering but her voice steady.

"Ah, we´ve already been over this. I don´t do relationships!" he adds angrily.

" I´m not asking you to do a relationship. I´m asking you to do me!" she says with equal anger.

"Won´t work. You need love and I don´t even like you."

But she doesn´t back off. She won´t let him get to her now.

"Look, you´re extremely smart, the best diagnostician there is. That´s a major turn on for me, and I know you well enough to know what you do and don´t do. So please, damnit, just jump me!"

He looks down at her, his brows furrowed, but a small smile lingers in the corner of his mouth.

"You do realize I´m going to mock you about this for all eternity?"

Her gaze is steady, never leaving his.

"No pain, no gain. And does this mean we have a deal?"

"No," he turns away. "It´s a really bad idea." He limps over to a bench and sits down.

She slowly walks over to him, feeling a lot less embarrassed than she´d expected to.

"Fine, back to the dancefloor it is then." She sighs faintly. "I guess I´m stuck with Chase then," she pauses. "That is, if I can´t get Wilson´s attention."

She turns to leave but he catches her by the wrist.

"Don´t." He holds her firmly and she looks down at him, her eyes big and darker than usual.

"Why?"

"I think we´ve previously established that you´re _my _eye candy. Wilson´s got the nurses and I´ve got you."

He tries to ease the tension with one of his usual sarcastic remarks but the harshness around his mouth tells her that he doesn´t find this amusing in the least.

"What´s in it for me then?" Her tone of voice is light and her eyes are challenging him. She´s standing so close to him that he can smell that tantalizing perfume of hers. He looks up at her, piercing her with his blue gaze.

"You sure about this?" His voice so low it´s barely audible in the night air.

Realizing he´s finally giving in to her she suddenly feels herself almost unable to keep standing upright. Before he can change his mind she bends down and kisses him eagerly, mouth open and with all of the starved passion that´s been building up inside of her over the last couple of years.

He feels himself respond instinctively, in one move pulling her so close he can feel the heat of her through the thin fabric of her dress. This is insane. It´s ridiculous. It drives him crazy and he´s immediately ready for her, for this one night of something that he´s wanted for a long while. Without letting go of her, he stands and pushes her almost roughly against the wall.

Her hands run inside his dark blazer, drift down towards the waistband of his dress pants and begin to pull his shirt out in rough handfuls that jerk him towards her. She touches him, greedily exploring his naked skin. She´s shivering, she can´t wait to feel him inside her.

The smell of his sweat mixed with his distinctive after shave and the pressure of him pinning her to the wall almost make her come on the spot. She impatiently lifts her skirt and he helps her remove all the obstacles between them. And then he´s there, his naked heat drawing all the blood in her body to that point between her legs. She´s standing on her toes, her hands behind him, pulling him closer, closer.

She´s so wet he easily enters her, his eyes open, clouded with lust, mirroring hers. He´s got his fingers entangled in her hair, pulling it hard with every thrust, the other hand behind her, making sure she can´t move anywhere. Digging her fingernails into his back, she screams out in raw passion when she comes almost directly.

He feels her tighten around him and loses himself in an orgasm so intense he actually blacks out for a split second. He rests his head on her shoulder, trying to regain his breathing.

"God," he murmurs, his eyes closed and his hair curling from the sweat, "that wasn´t too difficult."

She feels him begin to pull away, but she quickly stops him with her hands on his shoulders. Her breaths are still fast and uneven, but the look she gives him is firm.

"If you don´t do that to me again I shall have to kill you." Her voice almost breaks "Promise!"

His eyes meet hers for a brief second before he pulls his pants over his hips.

"Okay," he says with a quick nod, adjusts his clothes and leaves the roof.

She watches the door close behind him. Her breathing is back to normal but looking down she realizes she´s an utter mess. Moving to get her purse, she suddenly feels the rapidly cooling semen running down her leg. She freezes.

"Oh, shit!"

Going through her purse she finds some tissues and wipes it off. She brushes her hair with her fingers and checks her make up. When she´s fairly presentable she goes down. The party is still alive and kicking but she calls a cab, picks up her coat and quickly goes home without talking to anyone.

When she enters her dark apartment she closes the door and allows herself to fall down on her knees. She feels nauseas. She´s finally gotten what she´s wanted, and it´s so much more overwhelming than she´d expected it to be. She doesn´t know how to move forward from this, and it scares the hell out of her that the only thing she wishes for, is to feel him inside her again.


	2. Unknown territory

**Unknown territory**

I imagine this story takes place sometimes during season one, but it´s very detached from the actual plot and I´m going to continue to write it that way so maybe it´s not important what season it´s in?

**Disclaimer:** you know, I think it might actually be the other way around - considering the obscene amount of time I spend reading Hcam fics, House maybe owns me…

**Thanks to: **bones4life, my superbeta, for making sure I stay away from the worst spelling- and grammar errors and for trying to make me stay true to the characters, I´m sorry I´m such a handful…;)

And of course, thank you readers! You read my story and some of you even take the time to review it, until I started posting I didn´t understand how much that means. Please keep doing it!

* * *

She spends the night in a completely restless state of mind, going over theirencounteragain and again,creating marks in the carpet from walking anxiously back and forth across it. In the brisk awakening of dawn she finally falls asleep on the couch.

* * *

A phone ringing wakes her up a few hours later. It´s him.

"You and I did a foolish thing last night." His voice is more gruff than usual from lack of use.

"Yeah, I know." Just hearing him sends shivers down her spine.

"You on the pill?"

"No," she confesses. "But it's not…"

"Oh, please!" he cuts her off. "I'll come get you and we'll sort it out." He hangs up.

She quickly takes a shower and by the time he knocks on her door she's dressed in a pair of jeans and a baby blue cashmere sweater, her wet hair in a pony tail. She's put some make up on but she knows she's looking pale. She lets him in with a small smile. He's dressed in his usual outfit, looking out of place in her apartment as an awkward silence begins to lay between them.

"Hey," he says aftera while not looking at her. "I shouldn´t have…"

"Takes two to tango." she replies, tilting her head.

"Well, you ready to go then?"

She nods and reaches for her jacket. Out on the street he hands her his helmet and she climbs onto his bike, wrapping her arms firmly around him. She enjoys the bike ride, the speed, the smell of him, feeling his muscles move as he steers the bike. Being so close to him makes her want him so much it actually feels physically painful.

Too soon they arrive at PPTH.

* * *

As they enter the hospital, he immediately allows some space to accumulate between them.

"Go wait in my office."

She nods, accepting the fact that he obviously takes responsibility for the no-condom-issue. She goes upstairs, starts her laptop and goes through some mail. Some twenty minutes later he joins her.

"Working?" he says, popping some Vicodin.

"Thought I might as well make myself useful," she replies with a faint smile.

He pours a glass of water and hands it to her along with two pills.

"Here. Two now, two tomorrow and then one of these a day." He drops a box of birth control pills in front of her. "You are now officially on the pill, big girl."

She takes the two pills from his hand, her hesitation not going by unnoticed. She swallows them with a big gulp of water, grimacing as they won't go down smoothly.

"Good girl!" He looks at her, searching. "You okay?"

"I guess." The last twelve hours have left her feeling like she's been run over by a train and she's too exhausted to fake any kind of normality between them.

"Why these?" she asks holding up the box of birth control pills.

He drops his head and taps his cane.

"I made a promise." he says lightly. "But it´s not like it´s written in blood or anything so if you don´t wanna…" He hears himself babbling away and wishes for any kind of accident to come along and stop him before he makes a complete fooloutof himself.

Suddenly she gets up, a small smile on her face as she interrupts him.

"Listen, I´ll hold you to your promise and I promise to take these," she waves the box in front of him.

"Fine."

His eyes meet hers but he looks away first and encouraged by his confusion, she´s able to fake an easiness she really doesn´t feel.

"Your place or mine?"

"Easy there, cat woman," his signature smirk back in place. "I think I deserve breakfast before performing again."

She holds her breath, not bold enough to suggest they should share a meal. Maybe that would be too much of a dating implication for him to handle.

"I´ll take you home," he says. "And then I´ll come by your place later today, okay?"

"Great," she can´t hide her relief, her pale cheeks now flushed in a more healthy pink.

He sighs and shakes his head but keeps a smile on his face as they head out of the conference room.

* * *

She tries in vain not to wait for him, jumping at every sound from outside. When he shows up two hours after dropping her off, she has to work hard to cover up how relieved she is. She invites him in, but they don´t know how to go from there. He tries a joke.

"What? You´re all covered in clothes. I expected you to be all naked in bed by now or maybe attack me from behind the door." He wiggles his eyebrows at her.

She slowly moves closer.

"That can be arranged," she says as she almost shyly lifts her face towards his.

She had meant for the kiss to be chaste but when she feels him touch her, hunger once again overwhelms her and she presses herself tightly to him and willingly grants him the access he´s already claimed.

He's hard the moment he feels her tongue touch his.

He´s fought a battle with himself, whether to turn up at her apartment or not, and he doesn´t know if he´s won or lost, but at this point he argues that he might as well go through with it. In some logical ever-calculating corner of his brain he realizes that he´s entered unknown territory by coming here now and changing this whatever-it-is from a one-night-stand to an affair of some sorts. Then again, he wants her and the fact that it´s mutual just makes it all too easy to act on.

She leads him to her bedroom and almost frantically starts tugging at his shirt. But he´s determined to take his time, he wants to be aware of every move. One of his large hands easily traps both of her smaller ones behind her back, and with the other one he manages to tug down her jeans, leaving them half-way down her thighs.

She´s unable to move both arms and legs and she finds it strangely arousing to be so completely in his control. She allows herself to rest in it, looking at him with eyes thatare smokey with lust.

Her stare is too much for him to handle so he lets go of her hands and starts working on her sweater. She helps him pull it over her head and in one swift move unclasps her bra and tosses it on the floor. It makes him smile, she´s so eager, so ready, but when she catches his hands and put them on her breasts, all smiles are gone as he gasps at the impossible softness.

It´s so much more intimate this time with him moving ever so feather-light over her naked skin, and she yearns to touch him the same way. She starts working on his belt but he stops her. He doesn´t want her to see him. He removes his shirt and they fall onto the bed, kissing and touching and exploring. She surprises him with her total lack of shyness and he surprises her with his completely uninhibited ability to enjoy himself, her body, their actions.

She lays on top of him, covering him with wet kisses,burying her head in his neck, greedily drinking in his scent.

The pressure of her body stretched out against his makes him moan. He´s painfully hard and can feel himself pulsating against her leg through the denim. She smiles, feeling the bulge in his pants spreading her legs and wiggling her hips as to mold herself in a shape fitting his. She´s rewarded with a loud groan.

He moves to sit and unzips his pants, freeing his throbbing erection. She pushes him back and bends over him, taking him in her mouth. He gasps at the sudden contact. She´s all smoothness, softness and deep warm wetness. Dark spots start dancing behind his eyelids and he thinks he´s lost, but she shifts position again and the second he starts missing her mouth it´s covering his own as she kisses him passionately again. He realizes he´s misjudged her, she doesn´t want to hurry this, she wants this to take time as much as he does. It pleases him and he starts caressing her back, her hips, her thighs, allowing his hands to explore the unknown land that is her.

She has always found him sexy and that would have been enough for her, but now she discovers that as a lover he is creative and perceptive, paying attention to her reactions and acting on them.

The raw lust she sees in his eyes makes her body respond in ways she´s never imagined. She wants to wait longer but needs to feel him inside of her. There is a half-empty box of condoms in her nightstand and she moves to get one, but he stops her.

"I don´t think we´ll be needing that," he says, now lying on top of her, absent-mindedlybrushing away a tinge of her hair that lay across her face. "I mean, we´re kind of already past that," he continues.

"A bit hazardous for a doctor´s opinion, don´t you think?" She´s relishing in his closeness,enjoying his touch.

"Why? Am I in any danger here?" those sapphire blue examine her, making her dizzy.

"No, am _I_?"

"Not that I know of. I´m usually very careful," he murmurs in a low voice.

It´s not him declaring his undying love or even admitting to liking her, but it is him making an exception for her, a stupid one she knows, but still it´s enough to make her melt completely. She spreads her legs and welcomes him into her, meeting him in every thrust, kissing him and holding him while he empties himself inside her.

It´s too fast for him, but when he feels her cramps he really can´t hold back any more and he just lets go. It feels too good, too much, far too much to handle, but right now, he just doesn´t care.

Afterwards he stays on top of her allowing her to caress his back. But when he sees the stars in her eyes he knows that it´s all getting out of hand. He hastily withdraws from her embrace.

"I need to go. Don´t do relationships, remember?"

He gets up and quickly starts to dress.

"Yeah…But I do believe you like me…" she says with a satisfied grin on her face. She´s relaxed, happy, laying on her back. It´s dangerous, her guard is down.

He goes from revulsion to disgust in no time, shouting his answer at her. "Seriously Cameron, you couldn´t restrain yourself even for 24 hours? I can´t be the sappy loverboy you crave and I won´t bother trying. You know that! I´ll fuck you, that´s it!"

She snaps right out of her dreamy mood, realizing she´s crossed that fragile invisible line that defines this new relationship they´re in. She wants to fix it but she doesn´t know how. She´s rendered speechless, and in fear of having destroyed everything, she just sits in the middle of the bed and pulls the blanket around her nakedness as if to protect herself.

She looks extremely young and vulnerable and all of his anger fades away. He slouchesdown on the edge of the bed, wiping his face with a weak hand.

"Look, I´m not sorry. You knew what you were getting yourself into, but…this arrangement…it´s not…I mean, you like me and I don´t want any responsibility for that."

He looks tired and she suddenly feels an absurd urge to comfort him but wisely stays where she is.

"I´m sorry," she softly says. "I won´t talk about feelings again…but I need to know…if you´ll come back?"

She loathes herself for being this clingy, but she´s so far gone now, pride isn´t exactly on the top ten list, hell knows if it would even make it to the top fifty.

He sits in silence, resting his head in his hands. She has to push him for the sake of her mental sanity.

"I mean, do you _want_ to come back?"

She´s going for something remotely resembling casual, but feels her breathing give her away.Then again, maybe he doesn´t notice because he plainly answers:

"Sure. Sure I want to." And with a smile she can only describe as sad, he stands and leaves.


	3. Trapped

**Trapped**

Hello lovely readers! Thank you everyone who´s reviewed or/and put my story on alert – I love it! Big hugs to all of you!

This chapter is a bit different: more talk, less smut. Sorry, dirty lovers…But hey, give it a try, you might like it! Please let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer:** I could own them. In an infinite universe everything happens somewhere! So sure, they´re not mine here and now but in another time and place…:)

**Thanks to:** my poor stressed-out, but still sweet and dedicated, beta bones4life!

* * *

A month passes, and then another one. They´ve established a routine. He calls her, they have sex at her place, he leaves. She hardly ever talks anymore. It´s what he wants and he should be satisfied, but he´s not and it´s making him frustrated.

Monday morning. He comes in to work earlier than usual which earns him glares from Foreman and Chase. She´s busy going through his mail and greets him with a short professional smile before returning her eyes to the screen. He observes her small frame, her lackluster hair, her too big eyes.

He left her apartment only a few hours ago and he knows full well what she looks like naked. She´s lost weight and she wasn´t that big to begin with. None of it´s his business but it disturbs him. He finds himself distracted, his thoughts turning away from the current case to her, and for the millionth time during the last two months, he thinks he needs to end things with her. But he doesn´t. It´s a deadlock.

* * *

"Can I talk to you?" Cuddy enters his office with an expression on her face he can´t interpret.

"Sure." He pushes his chair away from the table and waits.

She closes the door and turns to face him.

"I don´t really know if this is anything…" she starts but her voice trails off. She tries again.

"I´m sure it´s nothing and I said I wouldn´t talk to you, but…" and she trails off again.

Silence. She looks awkward and he´s amused. He likes her this way, so much more fun than militant all-mighty robo-Cuddy. And besides, she´s gotten him interested with all that confusion. This is obviously important to her.

"If this is going to be one of those two-way communication thingies, you´re going to have to give me more to work with." He looks extremely content and leans back, resting in his chair.

She sighs, her shoulders rising as she finally figures the best way to say this is just to say it.

"Okay. Foreman came to see me. He´s worried about Cameron. Apparently he seems to think she´s lost some weight…Too much weight. He thinks she might have problems, and I…I´ve watched her and I think she looks tired but otherwise, I don´t know. But then again, Foreman wouldn´t come to me about it if he wasn´t really worried so… Well, you´re the master when it comes to picking up on details so tell me. Should I worry or is this all Foreman´s imagination?"

Her hands are clasped in front of her chest and he watches her unclasp them, fiddle with her necklace, clasp them again. He honestly doesn´t know what to say. Before the silence is too awkwardly stretched out, he gives her his most neutral look and clears his voice.

"Aum, I don´t know. I´m not really paying attention."

"Well, could you? I´m sure it´s nothing but I don´t want to dismiss it just like that since Foreman is obviously concerned."

She tilts her head, looking calm and professional, but when he agrees with a nod, relief washes over her face for a brief moment and he knows she´s concerned too.

"Thanks, House. I appreciate it."

He listens to the clicking sound of her heels as she leaves. This is a mess. No, it´s worse than a mess, it´s a monstrously fated debacle. He knew it would come to something like this, nothing is ever uncomplicated. He´s going to have to talk to her and he feels trapped.

"Fuck!" he yells as he throws his ball, hard and precise, hitting the door at a spot that would have been between Cuddy´s shoulder blades had she still been there.

* * *

That evening he seeks her out before leaving work. She´s in the lab running some tests. She doesn´t look up as he enters and he stops right inside the door, tapping his cane.

"Hey, time to call it a night."

"I´m not done yet." She seems glued to the microscope.

"I´d rather have you do me." He goes for cute, thinking maybe that´ll soften her up but reaction defaults.

"Come by my place later." Her reply is fast and unemotional. Still no eye contact.

"Could do that, or…" He stops tapping and watches her, waiting.

Finally she looks up but her expression is blank and she hardly moves her lips as she asks:

"What?"

He wants some kind of reaction out of her. His pride wants enthusiasm, his self-loathing wants anger, as a doctor he wants her to cry and heal. Then he could leave her with comforting people and she would be fine and this would all end. But she´s indifferent and he knows that for someone like her, always caring and loving, that´s a dangerous diagnosis.

"Or you could come with me now. To my place."

He can see the exact moment when she loses balance. It´s all in those tell-tale eyes of hers. He´s broken through her barriers and now she´s lost in an emotional quagmire.

"What…What do you mean?"

So she still gives a damn. He´s confident he´s got her hooked now. Nodding for her to follow him, he turns and heads out of the lab.

* * *

He arrives before her, leaves his bike and waits for her to park her car. He´s nervous. He´s sure he´s going to screw up. She joins him and they enter his apartment in silence.

Once in she drops her jacket, kneels in front of him and unzips his fly. He yelps in surprise when she puts her lips between his legs and expertly starts moving them in that way she knows he likes.

_Yeez, when did this become a battle?_ He pulls her hair, forcing her to stop while silently cursing his treacherous body that is already responding to her ministrations.

"What? I´m doing you. It´s what I´m here for, right?"

It´s a childish remark and she´s disappointed with herself for making it. She´s promised herself to act like him, feel nothing, show nothing, stay silent. But now, by bringing her here, he´s changed the stakes and she´s on edge, feeling all of her old insecurities wash right back over her. She doesn´t know what to do and as usual he´s in control. She feels trapped.

"It´s not what you´re here for." He pauses and when he continues his words are forced out through gritted teeth. "We need to talk."

She moves to the other side of the couch and when she faces him her arms are folded in front of her, defensively.

"No, we don´t. We have an agreement and it works." Her voice is intense and persuasive, the voice she uses when she wants to manipulate him into agreeing with her on a diagnosis or letting her do some meaningless tests on a patient. It´s never worked.

"Just cut the crap, will you? If this worked you would be giving me a blow-job."

"I was, and you stopped me, so what´s wrong?" A part of her is curious, this is so unlike him and she wonders where it´s going.

He zips his fly and takes off his jacket, then moves to sit on the couch.

"Sit down," he says. She does and he sighs.

"You´ve lost a lot of weight and you´re now frighteningly thin. You have a problem." His voice is soft, so soft she could easily melt and mistake it for caring, but she doesn´t like it. It´s an adult talking to a child.

So she behaves like a child, she looks away and doesn´t talk. She wants to provoke him. She needs him to lose control and finally admit this means something to him.

"Fine, have it your way. Don´t eat, you´ll make a pretty corpse, but don´t expect me to turn up at the funeral!" He´s annoyed, but she´s the one that snaps.

"Fuck you!" she stands and yells. "What´s it to you whether I eat or not? You´re not my doctor and you´ve made it perfectly clear you´re not my boyfriend. Your job is to fuck me, I thought at least that was obvious!"

"You´ve changed the rules!" he´s standing in front of her, shouting back at her, and she´s pleased, at least he sees her now.

"I´m not doing this if you´re offing yourself! Why, why are _you_ doing this? This…" he´s waving one hand randomly between them "This is not a relationship, hell, it´s not even an affair! This is you being hot and me having a normal sexual appetite. This is you being damaged beyond all point of ordinary weirdness and me being an asshole and taking advantage of that, which by the way, seriously shouldn´t surprise you!"

He limps over to the window, but turns to face her again before she can answer.

"You´re going to eat or this ends here and now."

"Do you really think it´s that simple?" She´s back on the couch, feeling overwhelmingly tired. Right now, she almost likes the idea of breaking things off with him, she´s so completely drained of energy.

"Well, " he says, his eyes fixed on some nonexistent point in the darkness outside the window. "It seems to me part of your problem might be the fact that you´re allowing me to power over you. I just thought I might exercise that power to make you eat."

She sighs. She feels a deep need to be honest with him for once, to speak freely without having to worry about him pulling away.

"I´m not good with rejection, " she says, shrugging her shoulders almost apologetically.

"You´re not good with rejection as in you´re going to cry, or as in you´re going to boil my rabbit?"

She scoffs, hesitates and turns away her face as she answers.

"As in I´ve lost my appetite, I suppose."

A sweet smile softens her features and a weaker man would have let her off the hook there and then, but he will show her no sympathy.

"Not good enough. Why are you doing this? Why settle for this?"

Now he´s towering over her, staring at her with that penetrating, never-ending gaze that makes her unable to move and she loses her courage.

"I needed something uncomplicated," she replies and the words fall out of her mouth,deceitful and easy. "It´s not like you´d care. You never get involved."

"You´re lying."

He´s locked her gaze with his own and she knows he´ll never settle for anything less than the truth. She´s as pale as a ghost, frozen in a position that gives her a strange resemblance to a broken doll. She barely moves her lips when she answers.

"Don´t make me say it."

And with that, without so much as a sound, she faints.


	4. New deal

New deal

Hello…ello…ello…Can you hear me? Are you all still out there?

I don´t want to post anything that might be full of errors so I went on a cyber-space trip to find myself a new beta. Now I´m back, mission accomplished! For those of you that still might be interested, I´m really sorry about the delay!

**Disclaimer:** Give them to me! I want them!

**Thanks to: **jremme, bright and shiny new beta, for thorough and supportive beta-work! So glad I found you! :)

* * *

She wakes up on his couch, neatly laid back, two pillows under her feet. She feels horribly weak. She hears him roaming around in the kitchen but when she tries to get up, her head starts spinning and she falls back on the couch.

He returns with a plate and a glass that he sets on the table.

"How are you feeling?" He gives her a quick check-up, moving those deft hands professionally over her.

"Like I need to go home," she replies, keeping her eyes closed, knowing she´s in no condition to go anywhere.

"There´s scrambled eggs and juice. Eat, then you´ll be able to move."

He´s right, of course and smelling the food, she realizes she´s hungry. Somehow this hiatus has left her feeling sort of relaxed. She can´t remember the last time she exposed herself so completely to someone, if ever.

"Yeah, I don´t know if I´ll be able to sit up though," she admits kicking away the cushions and pushing herself into a more upright position.

"Hm," he hums, handing her the glass of orange juice.

She takes it and drinks, but the nausea returns and she has to lie down again. For the longest time he just looks at her and she allows it. This is it. She´s failed. She loves him so much his distance has caused her to show her weakness, and despite his skills as her lover he doesn´t want her. He´s skillful, not tender. Her mistake. And now he knows it all, just how damaged she is, how she's unable to protect herself from her own feelings. Then again, knowing him, he probably saw right through her from the very beginning.

Suddenly he turns away and picks up one of the cushions, he lifts her shoulders and pushes the cushion behind her back,propping her up against the couch. Then he takes the plate of eggs and starts feeding her.

* * *

It´s the middle of the night. She´s fast asleep on the couch. He´s sitting in his chair watching her. Her phone rings again and he checks the number. It´s Foreman again. It´s the fourth time. He ignores it.

He´s awakened by a pale sunlight that barely lights up the room. He wasn´t aware that he´d fallen asleep. She´s awake.

"Hey." She raises her eyebrows, silently asking all the questions that are present in the air between them.

"Hey." He sighs. "You okay?"

She offers a tired smile. "Never better." She tries to sit and, after a moment, succeeds. "I´m leaving now. Thanks for…," she bites her lip, "…well, everything." She moves to stand and he tries to get up in case she falls, but his leg protests after a night in that chair and she´s much faster than him. He thinks she seems to handle it.

She starts collecting her things. Any minute now she´ll be gone and this time she won´t come back. He can see it in her every movement; she´s broken. He´s broken her.

"What now?" He wants to stop her. He needs moreclosure than this, if only for the fact that he´s going to have to work with her.

"Oh, I´ll eat." She puts on her jacket and brushes her hair with her fingers. "You´ll be mean for no reason, I´ll be nice and naive, we´ll work…I won´t be a victim, somehow I´ll come out of this stronger than before." She smiles a crooked smile, knowing she sounds cliché**;** it makes her look older.

"No. You said it yourself. It´s not that simple."

"House, please. I´m done playing games with you. You must think I´m extremely slow, but believe me, I totally get the message now. You don´t like me."

She´s ready now, her hand on the door knob, but she hesitates.

"Look, I…I´ll be fine. I´ll land on my feet, I´ve done it before. And for what it´s worth, it´s not your fault. I´ve done this to myself, I do this to myself. And sure, I need to deal with it and I will." She pauses and swallows. "But, I just need to tell you…"

"No." He walks up to her, too fast for his throbbing leg. He´s in so much pain he can hardly talk and he bends over, rubbing his thigh. "You were right, I shouldn´t make you say it."

In one swift move, she leans forward and reaches for the bottle of pills that stands on the table behind him. It brings her so close she rests her forehead against his as she whispers:

"I want to say it. It´s the reason I´m here. It´s always been the reason. I. Love. You."

Her hair has fallen down around her face, hiding them, creating a private space, and he feels as if though he´s in a cave made of her, her scent, her warmth, her softness. It hits him he´s going to miss her and he wonders why it´s so easy to be physically close to her when it´s such a pain in the ass to talk to her.

She drops the pills in his hand and moves to leave. He wants to stop her but of course he doesn´t. He thinks it´s the story of his life.

* * *

He turns up at work later than usual. He hasn´t gotten any more sleep and his leg hurts like hell. She´s at her desk, doing charts. She looks fresh. She obviously took a shower, but so did he, changed her clothes as did he. Apart from the make-up she has nothing on him. So if she´s the one with problems, he wonders why he´s the one looking like a scarecrow when the first word that springs to mind when he looks at her is "crisp"?

"Early you are, young apprentice!" He´s glad he´s able to perform as cheerful a greeting as ever.

"And you, master, are extremely late." That crooked little smile again; he thinks he could get used to it.

"You should totally join the dark side." He pours himself a cup of coffee. "Any case?" She shakes her head while continuing her writing. "So wombat and gangsta are down at the clinic paying theirdues?"

"Paying _your_ dues, actually." She pushes her chair back, stretches her arms and yawns.

"Great! So, lunchtime then…. Lunch, I guess."He takes a quick sip of his coffee.

He suddenly seems so lost and awkward that it makes her burst out in laughter.

"What?" Now he´s annoyed, brows furrowed, feeling caught.

"You want me to eat so now you feel like you have to take me to the cafeteria and make sure it happens." She´s amused.

"I don´t feel anything!" he blurts out. _Why does she do this? Drag everything out in the open with all of her words. _It´s exhausting, but this time he decides to push it a little further.

"Look, it´s lunchtime, I should eat, you should eat. We could do it together if you would just let this slide for once."

"You never let anything slide."

He nods admittingly. "True. Then again, maybe things would be easier if I did."

He says it as if to dare her and she´s astonished._ When has he ever admitted to anything like that?_

She looks at him, calculating. "So the cafeteria it is then." She gets up and heads out the door, not waiting for him to follow. She´s back in the game. New deal.

* * *

The cafeteria is pretty crammed. They wait in line, both relieved that the sound of people chattering is so loud they can easily pass off their silence as casual, relaxed, and a practical choice. She orders a Reuben, no pickles, for him and grabs a salad for herself. After a short hesitation she adds a slice of bread. He nods appreciatively. "I´ll get a table."

She pays and joins him. They´re trapped between the kitchen entrance and a heavily trafficked aisle. He has some difficulties putting away his cane and folding his long legs to fit the chair. She sets the table, trying to ignore the curious glances they earn; they´re an odd couple on the lunch scene. She sits down and starts organizing the food in front of her.

He scoffs. "Very neat, reveals that crazed out anal streak you try so hard to hide."

"Mind your own business." She pours her beverage which earns her another scoff.

"Milk? Seriously?"

"Well, it seemed…appropriate." She feels a bit silly. "I promised I would try!" she adds defensively.

He just shakes his head, disbelievingly. "And of course, Santa´s Little Helper´s gonna do the right thing."

"If you don´t like it just say so and I´ll fuckin´ puke!" Her voice is dangerously low and her darkened eyes are firing darts at him, but he likes the intensity, the spunk. This he can deal with.

"I love it. It´s cute." His eyes never leave hers and suddenly she feels that familiar flip in her stomach. _God, will he always have that affect on her?_

"Don´t do that unless you´re gonna follow through?" She´s surprisingly honest and he thinks it´s a fair warning.

"Okay." He digs in on his Reuben and she watches him, trying to figure out what she really feels.

"Annoying! Stop staring!" His voice rips her back to reality.

"I´m disappointed," she states, realizing when she says the words that it´s true.

"Yeah, eventually I have that effect on women." This time, the crooked smile is his.

"No, not like that." She hesitates, trying to collect her thoughts. " It´s just…You were in a relationship so… you can do it, maybe even want to. Just not with me."

He scoffs. "Yeah, that whole thing worked out just fine. Like living in a nice little war zone."

"It wouldn´t be like that with me."

"You don´t know that, I like guarantees."

"You know I can´t give that. It´s not humanly possible to guarantee anything when it comes to relationships. But you know me. You know I´d try, I´d commit!" She´s back to dark eyes and intensity. "And I don´t like being punished for some random chick's bad behavior!"

She´s mad, jealous, and refreshingly honest, he´s actually a bit turned on. _"Random chick". He could totally mock her for that one, but maybe there´s more to gain if he doesn´t._

"I do like you when you´re all hot and intense, preferably naked in a bed. But skirt up, panties down in a janitor´s closet would also work." He wiggles his eyebrows. It´s worked before.

"Ah, just cut it out! You´re so not getting away with that this time!"

He drops the flirty attitude. "Okey, what´s the deal then?"

She just shrugs her shoulders. He tries again.

"Boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Is that what you want?"

"I don´t know. Are we negotiating? What do _you_ want? What would you commit to?"

"I don´t know! I was fine! And then you stopped eating!"

"I didn´t do that on purpose to punish you! I love you! And I do know what I want! I want a relationship with you. A relationship that you can commit to and take responsibility for, not some immature thing where you´ll withdraw and start accusing me of emotionally blackmailing you into something you really didn´t want and running off to Wilson to lick your wounds as soon as things get rough." She stops to catch her breath, she´s so frustrated.

"That does sound like somethingI would likely do," he admits. "But, I hear you and…I do like having you around. It´s been…good. Better than I thought it would be." He looks at her questioningly.

She can´t help but smile. She´s so much in love she feels she´s likely to give him anything he asks for everytime he shows her even the smallest bit of affection. She wonders if she´s going to be able to keep a grown-up perspective on this, if he wants her "no" isn´t going to be a realistic answer and where will that leave her? _Get a grip, Allison!_ She pulls herself together.

"Not good enough," she states, mimicking her own words from back when she made him take her out on a date. But this time, it´s not a negotiating situation so she continues. "But it´s a start and I can live with it. Lets take things step by step, small steps."

"As long as small steps include you eating and spending lots of time naked and willing in my bed." He smiles and she thinks she can see some genuine happiness on the bottom of his eyes, but then again, she´s watching him through love-tinted glasses.

Her smile mirrors his. "It´s a deal."

* * *

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	5. The Curve of the Earth

Hi!

This story has seemed abandoned for a long time, I got discouraged by season four… and moved on to another fandom, if this pairing does it for you, you might want to check out the Hermione Granger/Severus Snape pairing from Harry Potter fandom - just sayin´! Oh, and if you need recs, I´m here =)

Anyhow, this chapter, the final one, has been sitting in my laptop for years now, and I think it´s time for it to spread its wings! I hope there´s still someone out there who reads Hcams =) Reviews still extremely appreciated!

The Curve of the Earth

That night, when she comes home, she drops her bag and her jacket and throws herself on the couch without turning on any lights. She needs to think. The last turn of events has been unexpected. Earlier that day when they left the cafeteria they each went back to their work and she didn´t get to talk to himprivately anymore. When she was finally finished it was dark outside and he´d gone home. And now - what now, really? Are they together? Has he suddenly changed his mind and now likes her? Can she call him or is it up to him as usual? And if so, will she accept that? Or will she finally stand up for herself and claim some equality? Probably not.

Her phone rings. Of course she hopes it´s him, but no, it´s Foreman.

"Hey."

"Hey. What´s up?"

"Nothing much. I heard you had a lunch date."

"Yeah…"

He sighs. "I knew it. He´s doing this to you, isn´t he?"

"What?"

"You´ve stopped eating, ´cause of House, right? He´s messing with you!"

"No! No, why would I... And I´m eating!"

He doesn´t listen. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"I´m going to hang up now." Her voice is shaking and it´s an empty threat, because she holds on to the phone like her life depends on it.

"Jeez, Cameron…That´s bad. Really bad. He´s so wrong for you, he´s gonna destroy you!"

"I´m a big girl. I can make my own decisions."

"No. You´re a big girl so you have _the right_ to make you own decisions, but apparently you´re lousy at it!"

"Back off, Foreman! I´m not yours to protect!"

That gets to him. He doesn´t even answer. He just exhales and she can tell he´s annoyed. He hangs up without uttering another word.

She quickly calls House.

"What?"

"Foreman called me. He wants to know if I´m sleeping with you."

"Well, are you? And if so, could you make it a bit more rough, ´cause I´m not feeling a thing."

"Stop joking! He knows!"

"Well, whatever. We won´t let it affect work and Cuddy won´t mind. She´s got this idea about you being able to make me happy, apparently something to pursue."

"He thinks you´re bad for me. What if he… does something?"

He scoffs. "You don´t expect him to round up some brothers and have me offed, do you? I´m sure you´d be flattered by the drama, but sorry, ain´t gonna happen. He might threaten me, but that´s as far as he´ll go."

She feels her shoulders drop an inch. "Yeah, you´re probably right. I didn´t know…I thought we´d been careful, talking to him made me kind of lose perspective, I guess."

Silence. She hates that. On the phone all you´ve got are words, if they fail the communication problem is pretty obvious. Then he speaks.

"Or, I might be wrong and you might be right."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe he´s coming to kill me as we speak. And, if so, shouldn´t you be on your way over here to protect me?"

She smiles. "I´m there!"

She arrives at his place and knocks on the door, she hears him shouting something and assumes it´s her cue to enter, so she does. He´s on the couch, watching TV.

"Still alive?" She feels awkward, like she doesn´t really know what to do with herself.

"So far." He doesn´t lift his gaze from the screen but he smiles and she decides to take that as an invitation.

She walks over to him, bends down and places a soft kiss on his temple. "I´m glad."

She lets out a short laugh and he raises his eyebrows questioningly.

"No, it´s nothing." She walks around the couch and sits down next to him. "I was just thinking, it doesn´t matter how often I see you. I still have time to miss that, the way you smell."

He scoffs, but not with his usual sarcasm. "Great, much more easy for me. Maybe I can quit the whole showering thing entirely."

"Nah, that might be exaggerating it a bit, but I wouldn´t mind it if you worked up some sweat…"

He smiles again, it softens his features, but not as much as it softens her.

"Sure, I aim to please, might need some assistance, though." He flexes his back, which makes him slide down on the couch into a reclining position, legs apart. It's a quick movement but it speaks directly to those more primitive parts of her brain and instantly it´s there; the almost painful desire her body reserves only for him.

"Unbuckle." Her voice sounds strange, it´s thick, filled with lust and he immediately complies.

She positions herself between his legs and begins placing sloppy kisses on his groin.

"Wait, wait, wait." He pushes her away, with some apparent difficulty, just long enough to push down his jeans.

"Eager, are we?" She really doesn´t want this to be a power game, but the confidence that swirls through her veins is too intoxicating to ignore, hence the cocky comment. She´s shot down immediately though.

"Shut up and suck." He´s got one thing in mind now, her feelings aren´t exactly in focus. She knows she should be pissed but him wanting her is just so arousing, and so, she obeys, taking him in her mouth, deep and slow.

The contact with her warm, wet mouth makes him moan and he grabs her hair to up the pace, satisfying himself with her.

She´s always been secretly proud of her ability to give blow jobs without gagging, and at the same time she knows she´s entitled to some control but she decides not to claim it. Not now.

She sets an erratic pace, allowing him to thrust as deep as he needs, meeting him every time. She can´t watch him, but his breaths come in almost sobbing pants and she can tell he´s lost now.

When he comes it hits him hard. He bends forward, clutching her hair so hard she´s surprised he doesn´t rip it off. To her it´s all chaotic, she knows she should protest but she wants to give him this, show him she´s there for him no matter what. Words seem too often to drive them apart, but this way she might get through to him on some more subconscious level. She swallows (admitting to herself she hates that part) and then rests her head against his healthy thigh. They stay like that for what seems like an eternity. Finally, when she thinks he´s asleep, he speaks.

"Your hair…" he murmurs, gently stroking her messy curls. "You know, you shouldn´t let me do that…"

"No words," she simply says, carefully climbing up and stretching herself out on top of him, resting her head against his chest. She feels him relax and to the safe sound of his heartbeats, she falls asleep.

She´s awakened some time later, he´s uncomfortably shifting position and she quickly gets up.

"Your leg?" she asks, groggy from sleep, trying to regain balance in the dark room.

"Always," he grunts, roughly massaging it.

She senses he doesn´t want an audience so she leaves for the bathroom. When she´s ready she can hear him move about in his bedroom. She sighs - what now? She almost decides to quietly leave but then again, this is no time for hesitation and she doesn´t want to disappoint herself.

She undresses and tip-toes barefoot towards the bedroom, but on the threshold she loses courage. He hasn´t turned on any light so she can´t see him but she hears him breathe and she can tell he´s noticed her presence.

"I´m going to stay." Her voice is nothing more than the shadow of a whisper.

She senses him mentally nodding his approval before he gruffs his "okay" into the darkness.

She enters and slips between the sheets with as little movement as possible. It´s an odd situation, almost impersonal and yet, at the same time, frighteningly intimate. She surprises herself by falling asleep.

When she wakes up she´s alone. She can tell by the sparse light it´s still early so she stays in bed, listening. No sound from the bathroom, she guesses it´s up for grabs then. She takes a quick shower and returns to the bedroom to dress. Clothes from yesterday don´t seem all that appealing so knowing full well she might be over-stepping one of those invisible lines again, she searches the drawers and retrieves a simple t-shirt. It´s old, soft and smells like him.

She finds him in the kitchen, drinking coffee.

"Hey."

"There´s coffee if you want."

"A bit early for you to be up and about, isn´t it?… Am I to blame?"

He avoids eye contact. "I couldn´t sleep."

She helps herself to a cup of coffee and joins him at the table.

He notices her outfit. "Wearing my t-shirt, a bit girlie, huh?" He seems casual enough but there´s steel hidden in his voice and something more… Hurt? Fear? She can´t tell.

"I needed something clean and I hoped you wouldn´t mind. Don´t read too much into everything I do. It´ll wear us both out, and really, sometimes there are no ulterior motives."

He nods but gives her a curious look. She smiles and shakes her head, disbelievingly, that vivid mind of his never stops working.

"And yes, I also like that the damn thing smells like you, but you already knew that so just leave it."

"And that qualifies as an ulterior motive!" He looks so smug she has to laugh.

"Yes, absolutely, you win!"

"Don´t I always."

She sips her coffee and feels herself relax now that the tension between them is temporarily gone. But then again, it´s always like this; hurtful banter and mind-blowing sex glued together with silenttruces. She wonders how much more of it she can take.

"What?" He interrupts her thoughts, those blue twin fires probing her scowlingfeatures.

"Nothing." She tries in vain to duck his question, knowing full well he won´t yield.

"Right. Tell me it´s none of my business, but don´t lie, that´s fuckin´ tiresome."

"One: telling you it´s none of your business would only make you try harder, if nothing else, I´ve learned that. And two: I wasn´t thinking happy thoughts so I´d rather just leave it."

He doesn´t even blink. "Avoiding the question, Allison!"

"Just contemplating how dysfunctional we are, Greg." Her smile is ironically sweet.

He wrinkles his nose, faking resignation. "That´s all we could ever hope for. And I think you should give us some cred; at least we´re on a first name basis."

She looks at him, incredulously. "I don´t believe you! How come I´m the one with the sulky mood, brooding over us, while you´re suddenly playing house? Is this one of your little throw-Cameron-off-balance-games? Because I swear I don´t know how much more of it I can take."

She´s not really that pissed off but sometimes talking to him, interacting with him, is like riding a giant emotional roller coaster, and she thinks she deserves a break.

He leans over, leveling his face with hers. "Look,_ Allison_, this is me trying. And since it´s still practically the middle of the night, I think you should reward me by moving that sassy little ass of yours into my bed. And then," he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, "when I´ve had my way with you, we should totally go to work and play a round of throw-Chase-and-Foreman-off-balance."

She yields. Well, someone should and the task seems to be hers. She leans closer. "I don´t trust you." Kiss. "But I trust myself." Kiss. "And..," she smiles into his mouth, "…myself kinda loves you." Kiss.

He smiles back. "Maybe I trust you too." Kiss. "Your judgment is impeccable." Kiss. "You should like be the headmistress of the universe." Kiss.

She giggles and moves over to him, gives in to the light-headed happiness of the moment and relishes in the fact that his embrace seems natural, natural for him to give and for her to receive. _I fit in his arms._ The thought might be sappy, but it´s still intoxicating.

"Oh, God." Kiss. "I could do this all day." Kiss. "You´re great…mmm…perfect." Kiss. "I´m not going to make it to your bed." Kiss.

"Could´nt give a rat´s ass." Kiss. "Strip and give me my sugar." Kiss.

She pushes his hands down, onto her naked thighs, and when he immediately moves upwards he realizes she wears nothing but his t-shirt. She impatiently lifts its hem to give him better access.

"You strip." Kiss. "I´m extremely ready…" Kiss.

He groans. "You do the work." Kiss. "I´m otherwise occupied." He pinches a painfully hard nipple and it sends a jolt of pure pain-pleasure straight to her core.

Her head lolls to one side, allowing his mouth to travel down her neck. She pushes his pants down, with some difficulty, because she can´t stop herself from grinding her hips wantonly against his.

"You know..," without letting go of him she slides onto the table, "This table might come in very handy…"

She looks at him through hooded eyes, using one hand for leverage and stroking herself with the other, spreading her moist to ease his entering.

He loves it. Her lust, her honesty, her lascivious beauty. Hell, in this moment he might even love _her._

He thrusts into her with determination. Slow, heavy thrusts, just the way she likes it. Shelies down on the table, arching her back, her eyes closed.

He grabs her hips and pulls her to him, harder and harder. His rhythm is heavy and on the beat, and she meets his every stroke, pulling her knees higher and giving him more and more access to her body. She´s moaning out loud now, clasping the edge of the table with one hand and rubbing her clit with the other.

She loves him like this. Towering over her, demanding her, taking her, wanting her and losing himself in her. She loves submitting to him and she loves what it does to him.

"So close..," she pants, "so close, oh please, please, please…" It´s a plea, she doesn´t now for what, but it has the desired effect.

He ups the pace, wrapped up now, in his own pleasure, and she marvels at the reactions his moves, his touch draw out of her, and melts when that controlled, razor-sharp intellect can only express itself in a guttural groan.

And at that, watching and feeling him falling over the edge, she loses herself in those sweet, sweet cramps that sends a relaxing heat pouring through her body, and suddenly she´s laughing in a reaction to the intensity of it all. Or maybe she´s crying, there´s no telling.

He slumps forward, resting his head on her stomach, and she threads her fingers through his hair, feeling her own wild heartbeats slow down together with his.

She sighs, content now, and he lifts his head, rests his chin on her and gently draws the outline of one of her breasts with his index finger.

One corner of his mouth slants in a quick smile.

"What?" She likes his soft touch and doesn´t want to ruin the moment, but curiosity gets the better of her.

His smile is almost shy when he simply replies: "The curve of the earth..," and continues to stroke her breast.

She hugs him with her legs and for the first time she thinks that this might actually really work.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^The End^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


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